Unacknowledged Sacrifices

I cannot afford to remember without tears the proverb “Behind every successful man there is a woman.” In a world where ‘success’ is considered to be the absolute perquisite of Man, who would dare to bother about the sacrifices of a woman? The excessive eulogization of Jesus, John the Baptist, Buddha, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Cappadocian fathers etc. is at the expense of the sacrifices of their mothers, sisters, wives etc. Who are these men without their women? Kahlil Gibran in his book ‘Jesus the Son of Man’ puts forth the complaints by the mothers of the disciples of Jesus, “Why should the milk of my breast be forgotten for a fountain not yet tasted? And the warmth of my arms be forsaken for the Northland, cold and unfriendly.” These are the agony of each women whose sacrifices go unacknowledged.

Centuries ago Hannah prayed “Lord of hosts…remember me and not forget your servant…give to your servant a male child” (I Samuel 1:11). Hannah specifically prays for a son and not a child. A woman not desiring the birth of another woman reveals the pathos women endured in the then Jewish society. Aren’t our modern mothers too reiterating the prayer of Hannah? Do women feel the warmth of welcome when they are born in our midst even today?

Incarnation itself was made possible when a woman (Mary) showed the audacity to transcend the traditional norms of a society. The womb of a woman is where began the salvific plan of God. If Eucharist is the celebration of the body and blood of Christ Jesus then it was Mary who celebrated the blood-stained infant Jesus soon after his birth and even after his death. Mary thus becomes the first Priest. Do we need a more credible argument to ordain women? I often wonder how the Church that bestows a woman with the status of Theotokos (Bearer of God), practices gender discrimination by not ordaining women. Exalting the virginity of a woman at the expense of disgracing her menstrual blood is a vicious perspective that the Church needs to abandon.

In the Eastern Orthodox tradition, Female Diaconate is a tradition which needs to be revived. Women were always an integral part of the early church as teachers, preachers, prophets, missionaries, deacons and so on. Dr. Donna Rizk Asdourian remarks, “We must remember that in sanctioning (or re-sanctioning rather) women’s integral role in the liturgical life of the Church, we not only revive an ancient Tradition and practice, but we also embrace and acknowledge the pastoral needs of the laity. The Church is living and dynamic; it is not stagnant and a mere point of reference to the past. It must be relevant – while being Traditional, and this reality is achievable when we recognize women as essential to the liturgical and participatory functions of the Church at large.”

Malala Yousafzai is a Pakistani activist for female education and the youngest-ever Nobel Prize laureate. She is known mainly for human rights advocacy for education and for women in her native Swat Valley in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, northwest Pakistan, where the local Taliban had at times banned girls from attending school. Last month at the World Economic Forum (WEF) she commented “When we talk about feminism and women's rights, we're actually addressing men. Men have a big role to play. We have to teach young boys how to be men. In order to be a man you have to recognize that all women and all those around you have equal rights and that you are part of this movement for equality.”

Women is the consummation of God’s creation. This lent, let we men, acknowledge the services and sacrifices of our mothers, sisters, wives and all other women in our lives. Embrace them so affectionately because they are really worth it.

I conclude with a radical work by Vikram Bhattacharya who reimagines the story of Buddha

Buddha’s Wife

He left her in the middle of the night.

When she heard the news she was devastated. Yet, she did not complain but her life lost all meaning. The only reason for her to live now was her son. She wanted him to grow up to be a man that the world would look up to.

Her friends and relatives came around and asked her to forget about the man who had left her and start life again. They asked her to marry again but she refused. She was young and beautiful and suitors queued up outside her door, but she refused each one of them.

As the years went by she turned into a shell of her former self. She ate only one meal a day, did not care about how she looked, hardly slept the long nights and focused only on her son.

Then one fine day he came back!

He stood in front of her and she could hardly remember him as the man who had left her. “They call you the Buddha now?” she asked him gently. “I hear they do,” he answered in a calm fashion. “What does it mean?” she further inquired. “I think it means the enlightened one, a knower,” he informed.

She smiled and then a silence.

“I suppose we have both learned something. Your lessons will make the world richer in spirit, but my lesson will unfortunately, remain largely unknown,” she reflected deeply.

“And what lesson is that?” he probed.

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears,

“That a woman alone does not need anyone to complete her. She is complete on her own.”

Let us pray

God who was born of a woman, humble the hearts of all men so that they acknowledge the sacrifices of the women in their lives. For Christ’s sake we pray. Amen

Prayers

Dn. Basil Paul